Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
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i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
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WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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