you would pick up someone in the library
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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