I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
