I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
