she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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