so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
