1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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