These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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