i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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