He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
