On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I need to calm my uterus...
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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