Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
