im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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