Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
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