im drinking this country out of the recession.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
