doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
