her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
it's like iHOP with fire
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
