that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
