He told me they were just razor bumps!
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
