I am full of burrito and curiosity
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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