sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize