you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
