My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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