some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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