Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i think i have two assholes
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize