she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
