I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
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how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
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Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Damn victory sex feels great
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