I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
