so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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