I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
