Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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