Cold hands, warm shart.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
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