Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I need a burrito and a hug.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
