i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
is wine microwaveable?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize