Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize