party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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