why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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