i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
