This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
