Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
