My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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