that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
