i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i already hear my dad disowning me
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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