guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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