its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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