Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
