i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
