That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
