Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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