some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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