Michael Bay diarrhea
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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