i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I need to sanitize my soul.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
