i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
