i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
