he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
