Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Is Oprah even human
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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