I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
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That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
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Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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