Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
