He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
