thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
