there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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