I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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