You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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