I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
