I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
